Having a breakthrough

Having a breakthrough rather than a breakdown seems much healthier to me, especially this last week in which I have been ill most of the time. Between bouts by chance  I came across a model about having a breakthrough, written by Chris Johnstone in ‘Find your power a toolkit for resilience and positive change.’

It is a five step process but for me the first step was the most powerful

It has three elements

1 Write down your thoughts about ‘What is the problem?’ – write as much as you can about the problem

2 Write down ‘Why is this a problem?’ – write down a much as you can about the reasons why it is a problem. I find this the most insightful part of the whole process. Asking why brings greater insight.

3  Reframe the problem in a few sentences beginning ‘The problem is……’ This distils the thinking from the two elements above.

The remaining steps of the model involve listing as many solutions  as you can think of, even ones which may seem impracticable, then going through the list to cross off what is unacceptable to you, then picking out a small number of cherries-  acceptable possible solutions and working out the pros and cons of each. The final step is to  work out a 7 day action plan , write it down and tell someone about it.

We have just applied it in a School of Formation meeting to a problem I have had for years, not saying here what is was, but the model has certainly helped me find a way forward on something seemingly that I had thought I just had to live with. So there has been a breakthrough this morning.

The King’s speech

Having watched the film awards ceremony on Sunday I had a real treat on Monday evening going to see this outstanding film.

What struck me about the film was the bravery of the King to meet the needs of the people in  a time of national crisis.  His bravery was supported by both the friendship of another and his own willingness to accept the friendship and the friend’s gifts. Accepting friendship and gifts is not always easy but can lead to great changes, personally and for communities

success and disappointments!

I went to Minehead last Saturday with a group of supporters from our local rugby team that my husband plays for. We were not expecting to win, the opposition are higher in the league and the interesting slope on their pitch gives the home team a definite advantage,  but win they did and celebrations were had post match in true rugby style! Wouldnt it be nice if life was more like this and disappointments were few and far between!

What do you say?

Skype conversations across the globe really do make it feel as though families are not so scattered until you get bad news.

Last night a close cousin, more like a brother, really in New Zealand said his cancer is now terminal and he’s unlikely to make Christmas.

We’ve know he has been ill for some years and had hoped he was beating the odds. Being 12ooo miles away, linked only electronically it leaves you feeling even more helpless and surprisingly cross, unable to reach out and find words when none would in fact help.

Being ourselves given to the community

In a workshop last Saturday, we had been also been looking at the experience in Exile and the challenges of living in a strange land.

I asked groups from rural churches to think about their hopes for the future. Recalling the returning exiles  were disappointed I asked them to be as realistic as possible.

One group said they were not going to compromise their faith in a largely secular land, rather they were going to both make a noise that God is still here in rural villages and to give themselves even more fully to serving others in the life of the rural community.

Making a noise in a strange land and giving yourselves to others spoke to me about people who feel confidently taken hold of  by God, blessed by God, and both opened outwards, as the bread that is broken and given in communion to those alongside whom they live.

Ever found you write something for a course and discover it applies to you?

If only I could let you in.

                     I  want to trust you Jesus with my whole life

 

                       And yet I hold back and keep you at arm’s length.

 

I long for the intimacy of a closeness with God, the Father

 

 I long to feel the grace that transforms all of me

 

and yet I recoil at the prospect

 

Dying to self and allowing you, God the Son, into every part of me feels so hard

 

     If only I could become more like you Jesus, more like a child of God

 

God the Holy Spirit please breathe on me and help me become a new creation.

 

           Release within me the qualities of Christ, move love, more generosity, more patience, more kindness, more faithfulness and more courage.

 

         Help me to grow spiritually, encourage me to pray, to read, to worship and to deepen my faith. Lord strengthen my resolve.

 

Take me to unfamiliar situations and have me do what you would want me to. Lord give me courage to risk rejection.

 

I’m here Lord, make me wholly yours

                                                        Jesus please come in

 

 

 

 

Churches in relationship

I’m working with one parish at the moment which is very strong on being a distinctive Church rooted in the village. Sounds great and yet the Church seems less clear on what it means in practice to be a Church in relationship with those other Churches in the benefice.

This led me to think about the kinds of relationship we may have in everyday life and whether there may be something to learn from the range of such relationships about being both a village Church and a Church in a benefice.

The range that came to mind is

- We have no idea about each other as we are strangers

- We cannot remember each other’s names though we think we have met before

- We pass the time of day when we meet by chance

- We exchange small talk at organised social occasions

- We know we could call on each other for help though rarely do so and then only in small ways

- We collaborate on something mutually beneficial or in the service of others

- We meet deliberately to share something about our lives, to listen to each other and to be together for the sake of being together

- We have a closeness giving liberally one to the other, sometimes sharing adversity and sometimes joy

I’m sure this range could be challenged and strengthened. It would be interesting to discuss it with a parish and to consider where it would place itself now and in the future.

The world cup and the big sing

I’ve seen just a little of the world cup on television and also caught a bit of the recent Songs of Praise programme ‘The Big Sing.’  Being slightly keen on football I have found my mood sinking as England’s performances have not matched expectations and though when I do attend matches I’m not overally vocal I have been known to join in some of the big singing in the ground, when that other team, Yeovil Town, have been doing well.

 It’s invigorating when I am part of something bigger and its going well and so it seemed to me it was for those in the Albert Hall also having a big sing. They were together and it, worship, was going well and they too looked invigorated.

Turning up on Sunday morning in a small rural church can be an experience a long way from having a big sing. A handful of people scattered around a large church and some people located behind pillars tends to leave me lacking in vigour, no matter how good the sermon or friendly the people are. There is something about a big sing that lifts me towards God and I think I need plenty of lifting and given the number of cakes, not pies, I eat, I think I need a good crowd to help in that task!

And they all smiled too!

Each member of the School of Formation is given the opportunity to lead a Reflection prior to the Staff Meeting.  And this week it was my turn!  What could I reflect on?  For Lent I tend not to give anything up but try, in some form or other to give, so I chose to share the following poem with my colleagues

‘A Smile’ 

“A Smile costs nothing but gives much.  It enriches those who receive, without making poorer those who give.  It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.  None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it

 A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business.  It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature’s best antidote for trouble.  Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.  Some people are too tired to give you a smile.  Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile as much as he who has no more to give.”

 Have you smiled at someone in the High Street who you do not know but in return you received a lovely smile back?  You may have been the only one who gave a smile to that person that day but what a difference you may have made to them.  Think of the pleasure that we gain when a baby gives us a wonderful smile.  As the poem states, ‘A Smile costs nothing but gives much’.  So why don’t you give it a try today and perhaps make someone’s day?

In Residence

I approach my first ‘being in residence’ in the Cathedral. It begins next Tuesday. I’m not entirely sure where the term originates but it means that I am responsible for all the services during the next two weeks. I don’t take them all but I need to be informed about them and make sure someone is able to be there. It’s quite a responsibility! But more than that, it is an interesting concept ‘being in residence’. When I worked as a parish priest I was always assumed to be there – no-one really thought I would be away apart from the odd holiday. This would be impossible in a Cathedral and the thing I like about it is that ‘being in residence’ can model a team approach. There will be times when I shall need to ask my colleagues, lay and clerical, to be at an event, take the service or introduce someone, because I shall not be able to be there and others will cover for me, but during this two weeks, I or someone I appoint will be there. In some parishes this is left to the vicar most of the time and only in emergency is someone else in charge – a one man minister, you might say. I will take over from the Dean on Tuesday and when I come to the end of the two weeks another colleague will take over. Cathedrals can be places for team work.